Over the course of the last year, a lot of people have asked me what I did to lose so much weight. My weight has been something I've struggled with nearly my entire lifetime. I have tried many things. I was successful at losing weight, but never successful at keeping the weight off for the long term. I tried the Atkins Diet, Weight Watchers, juice cleanses, physician prescribed diet pills, Plexus, Herbalife, exercise, and much more. I didn't keep that weight off. I yo-yoed back and forth between highs and lows. My Facebook memories are filled with posts about my excitement from progress, photos of my progress and then depression from gaining the weight (and more) back.
Finally, I came to a decision. My body and my mind could no longer take being the size I was at. I was sick for 7 to 8 months in late 2017 and into early 2018. I couldn't do the things I needed to do. I couldn't Mom. I couldn't Wife. I could barely Adult. I could not be myself the way I wanted to be. I couldn't DO THE THINGS I desperately wanted to do. I was physically exhausted. I was depressed from not being able to do the things. Like so many other women of the world, I HATED myself because of my body, my weight. I felt like I was letting myself down but not only that I was letting my husband and children down. Something HAD to give, something had to change.
One year ago, I hopped on a plane, headed to undergo a surgery that I hoped would change my life for the better. I had Gastric Bypass surgery in Mexico. I was scared shitless. It is probably the only time in my life that I have ever come close to praying to a God for real. Probably one of the craziest things I've ever done. I feared I would never see my children or my husband again. My husband still thinks I am crazy for how I went about it. And to be honest, I am a little shocked myself. I made my decision on May 2nd, 2018. On May 9th, I booked my surgery date for June 20th, 2018. A switch flipped in my brain. I started the pre-operation diet and lost as much weight as I could on my own before surgery. I lost 18 pounds by following a Keto diet and the “pre-op” diet recommended by the doctor. I cut out all junk food cold turkey.
I am sure there are some of you that are questioning about why I haven't opened up about this before. It's been an inner struggle for me to make the call on whether or not I wanted to share this because it is a very personal decision. I wasn't sure if I necessarily wanted to share with the world. However, at the same point, I feel like I can be a positive inspiration to other people. And I have had lots of people ask me and so I have decided that I really do want to be fully transparent with you so that if anyone has any questions I am happy to answer them. I wanted to give you a real insight into how and what I did. I'm taking that veil down to show you another piece of me which isn't always easy for me to do.
Another reason I waited for a year to share what I am sharing, is that I wanted to make sure I am in a healthy condition and without complications before people asked me for recommendations or suggestions. I wanted to be responsible with my answers before sharing the experience with others.
While dealing with the adjustments I've needed to make in life, I didn't want to stack on potential judgment and comments about what I chose. I wanted to keep it positive, I did that by not letting people know so I’d be free from their unsolicited advice or comments. I kept the negativity out. At first, only Josh, my Mom, and two friends knew what I was about to do. Before today, there are still only a few people that I confided in. It was a hard secret to keep. But I was protecting myself while I was dealing with a significant change. It was a last ditch effort to take control of my life. To become a better me. People might say I took the easy way out. I can tell you this has NOT been easy. There are daily struggles. I still deal with emotional eating, making healthy food choices, and portion control. The surgery is an additional tool that I chose to use to change my life. My only regret is not doing it sooner.
If you have anything other than uplifting comments, please follow the age-old advice, if you don't have anything nice to say keep your damn mouth shut. Life is hard enough as it is.
May the Force Be With You!
The Perfectly Flawed Badass Fashion Freak
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