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This article was written in June 2018. I'm reviving it almost 2 years later to show where I started. This is where I am now, read Weight Loss Journey: Changing for a Better Life
About a month ago a switch flipped in my head.
I can thank a close friend most for helping me think it through.
Over the last 30 days, pop, coffee and alcohol have been eliminated from my diet. No more sugar and no more (or minimal carbs), especially breads, cookies and potatoes.
Added water and high protein into my diet.
Since it’s summer we live outside, poolside and I MISS having mojitos & Zimas with Jolly Ranchers (yep I’m that girl).
My family is eating healthier but they’re also still chomping on freezees, candy & Cheetos in front of me. Will power has to go into overdrive on some days but I stay strong. I miss my morning coffee ritual too but I feel sooo much better lately.
Focused, alert and ready for the day. I’m sleeping normal hours which is weird. I wake up early most days without an alarm, I’ve never been a morning person - NEVER. Josh, my husband, tells me it’s because I’m old now, ya know because I’m 40. 😂 Yeah, he’s a smart ass.
When I use to crave cookies or chips, I’m now craving veggies or fruit. Weirdest thing ever for me.
Well because one of the most embarrassing reasons was, I was getting to the point where I couldn’t even fit into the largest size clothes Fashion Freak LLC carries - 3X. (I no longer carry boutique clothing.)
All I wanted to do was nap or lay in bed to binge-watch Netflix.
It’s depressing not being able to fit into clothes that you want to wear or clothes that need to be worn for modeling product photos.
But it’s most heartbreaking and depressing when your kids say “I wouldn’t want to parasail with Mom because she’ll tip us over.” A gut-wrenching thing to hear. I was holding my kids back from wanting to experience life.
It’s depressing not having the energy to do things with your family because you don’t have the energy to carry your own weight around.
Kids don’t know or understand what they say hurts and they don’t mean it to be hurtful but it’s a truth that is unfiltered. It’s how they see you. I don’t question whether my children or husband love me. I know they love me just as much as I love them. We are going through this together.
Being judged by others because of my size is hard. As much as I want to say I don’t care, it hurts. It hurts a lot. We are in a time when society is starting to change. People aren't judged or body shamed as much for their size and shape. In my opinion, this is one thing we can thank millennials for!
This is a great thing but the reality is that even though others aren’t judging you based on your physical size, but my body was. My body could not fit onto a roller coaster, into an airplane seat, into a normal size chair without being squished or uncomfortable. At least this is my experience.
My body is not happy at this size. Some days I love my body & how I look but even on those days I HATE how I feel.
I HATE how I feel so unhealthy because I can’t breathe after going up the stairs. Or I can’t walk too far without needing to stop to rest. This has to change!
I HATE how I feel!
I’m just over 30 days in and I’m 15 pounds down. I could say a lot more but I'll leave that for another time.
May the Force Be With You!
The Perfectly Flawed Suburban Punk Rock Mom living the Okayest Life